#24: Let's get loud!
An election result that took an age to get in, for a president who sort of doesn't exist. Roll on 2022!
The UK and the US have had too many historic elections of late. But undercutting the gravitas and the tension of the most recent presidential election was the sublime absurdity of American pop culture to see us through.
After the Met Gala of 2019, many people claimed Americans don’t have a sense of camp. I think this does the nation that brought us Austin Powers a great disservice: really, it’s that celebrities don’t win enough prizes for dressing interestingly so are content with ‘looking pretty’ - bland looks galore. Regardless, the spiritual home of musical theatre does have a sense of occasion that can embarrass the British sensibility - but it can equally delight.
“We did it, Joe!” Kamala Harris squeak-drawled down the phone in running gear. “You’re gonna be the next president.” I have been saying ‘we did it, Joe’ for so many vague achievements this year (doing laundry, hanging up laundry, submitting copy without apologising in the email for the quality, folding laundry, contemplating doing my tax return), it’s hard to believe the phrase only dates back as far as January.
In previous years, J Lo interrupting the flow of her rendition of ‘This Land is Your Land’ with a ‘let’s get loud’ - her signature refrain since 1999 - would have been the cause of genuine outrage. The inauguration is a time of national significance! How dare she prioritise brand recognition over humbly completing the patriotic honour of singing in the new leader of the union. In 2021, however, it is a much-needed laugh. There’s an almost old-school Hollywood egregiousness to it - giving the crowds exactly what they want from a celebrity, even when they don’t know they want it to begin with.
Arguably, this was the same motivation behind the much-publicised return of Bennifer - Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez’s power coupledom. Having now finished The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo and intrigued by this year’s The View Was Exhausting as well as the very well-timed pairing of Spiderman stars Tom Holland and Zendaya, I’m interested in how star-studded romances are a means of power brokerage, just as giving away a second daughter with French aristocratic claim to a lesser Habsburg would ensure a stability and relevance to the family at large. It is orchestrated, it is cynical, it is strategic - but, just like the mid-medley warble, we’ll go along with it anyway. Lord knows we need the distraction.
I think this is it for 2021 - there may be a few bonus editions next week to make up for not being able to edit or write mid-covid - but let’s take this moment as a farewell. I hope you have good Christmasses: I will be spending it alone, as I had intended at the start of the month, but I’m aware the will be many people for whom circumstance, pandemic notwithstanding, means they’re in situations they’d rather not be in. I hope those who expect to enjoy, do (don’t feel bad on our account, honestly); I hope those with lower expectations keep the faith and remember it’ll be over real soon.
Onwards: to 2022!